Always Forgetting To Forget You
by xXJasperIsSmootherThanYouXx
Summary: New Moon: They left. Bella took her depression, sadness and anger and put them into songs, now shes the lead singer in the hit band "Forgotten To Forget". What will happen when the Cullens show up at one of her concerts that were dedicated to...them?
1. Prologue

**A/N- third story, so I hope you like it… it came to me in a dream…**

Prologue:

"Jacob, you had better be at that concert…" Jacob has been my best friend since 'those-who-should-not-be-named' left me. When they left me, it felt like a part of me had be torn out, abused and carried along in one of Alice's Gucci purses. I mentally laughed at the picture that formed inside my head. I'd decided to dedicate part of my upcoming concert to them, and let out all of the pain they'd caused me. After they'd left, I'd started to sing, and write songs about my loss, and eventually, Jacob called an agent, and now I'm a big star, in a band called "Forgotten to Forget". Blake - drums, Carla – electric guitar backup singer, Kale – base, and me, Izzi, acoustic guitar, vocals and piano.

We were now two months through our world tour, and were in Chicago, for three nights, concert after concert. So I'd decided to let it all out, well, some of it anyway. I wasn't prepared to deal with the publicity.

"Of course I will Be-Izzi. I wouldn't miss it for the world, oh, and Angel's coming too?" Angela had become my other best friend, aside from my band, and Jacob, who, annoyingly, was now a werewolf. Such things shouldn't exist, like vampires. I shuddered.

"Yup!"

"Sweet… I won't be a loner." I rolled my eyes. "So I'll see you at the concert tonight, gotta go on patrol, you know how it is…"

"Bye, Jake" I didn't leave him time to reply, I was on a busy schedule, I rushed off to dressing and make-up, which, annoyingly, took three whole hours!

I sat down in my usual chair, and let the artists do their work.

* * *

_Three anrd a half hours later_

I had called some artists to come and sing at my concert, singing the songs that they wrote that relate to this concert. Outside the dressing room, I could hear Pink singing 'So what?' out on stage, and then it would be Beyonce singing 'Broken hearted girl', and then Leona Lewis singing 'Happy', and a few more artists, but these were my favourites.

* * *

_One hour later_

"Time to hit the stage, babe" Kale said from behind me as we were applauded onto the stage. Three deep breathes. Here we go…

**hope you liked it... reveiw please!**


	2. The only exception

**First chapter!**

I walked onto the stage with the rest of my band, and waved at the audience, that were screaming their heads off at our arrival. I had gotten used to the feeling of millions of people staring at us, so I didn't really blush anymore.

"Hello Chicago!" I yelled into the microphone. Everyone went totally crazy, screaming and holding up pieces of card with 'we love you's all over them.

"Tonight we are going to start with some of your favourites, and then we are going to do something a little different. I am going to dedicate a portion of the evening to" I gulped "my family, who left me. I am alone. My father died a year ago, in a car crash, around the time that they left. I am alone" I spoke, trying not to cry. So then we began.

I sang, and played my guitar for the first hour and then we hopped off stage for a break, and change.

Two minutes later, on stage was my piano, well not mine but very similar.

I walked on stage alone. Everyone said that I needed to do this by myself, I agreed. My long white dress cascaded down my body as I walked onstage. There was a few wolf whistles. Seriously, I could see Jacob and the pack waving and grinning like idiots, with Angela tucked under Embry's arm. I set them up a couple of months ago.

I sat down on the bench, and spoke clearly into the microphone. "This song is, firstly, dedicated to Jacob, he was there for me when they left, but I'll get to them later. This song is called, near to you"

I played the first couple of notes, and began singing.

_He and I,_

_Were something, beautiful,_

_But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last._

_I loved him so, but I let him go,_

_Cause I knew he'd never love me back…_

_Such pain as this, shouldn't have to be experienced…_

_I'm still reeling from the loss, still a little bit delirious _

_Yeah_

_Near to you, I am healing, but it's taking so long,_

_And though he's gone, and you are wonderful,_

_It's hard to move on…_

_Yet, it's better near to you._

_Well, you and I have something,_

_Different, but I'm enjoying it, cautiously._

_I'm battle scarred, and I'm working, oh, so, hard,_

_To get back to who, I used to be…_

_He's disappearing, fading, steadily._

_I'm so close to being yours, won't you stay with me…_

_Please?_

_Near to you, I am healing, but it's taking so long,_

_And though he's gone, and you are wonderful,_

_It's hard to move on…_

_Near to you, I am healing, but it's taking so long,_

_And though he's gone, and you are wonderful,_

_It's hard to move on…_

_Yet, it's better near to you…_

_Yet, it's better near to you._

_I only know that I am, better where you are…_

_I only know that I am, better where you are…_

_I only know that I belong, where you are…_

_Near to you, I am healing, but it's taking so long, _

_And though he's gone, and you are wonderful,_

_It's hard to move on…_

_Yet, it's better near to you…_

_Yet, it's better near to you…_

I ended, and most of the crowd had candles, or lighters and they were waving them in the air. I was already crying. Thankyou waterproof mascara! I scanned over the crowd quickly, and the face that I stopped on was a face I hadn't seen in eighteen months. Edward. I was almost going to run off the stage, or scream. My nightmares were coming back to me. All the pain I hid inside... for the moment.

"This one is called, goodbye" I said, and stood up to the other mic set up in the middle of the stage. And someone handed my guitar.

_I can honestly say,_

_You've been on my mind,_

_Since I woke up today_

_I look at your photograph, all of the time_

_These memories come back to life…_

_And though I cried!_

_I remember when we kissed_

_I still feel it on my lips…_

_The time that you danced with me, _

_With no music playing!_

_I remember the simple things._

_I remember till I cried._

_But the one thing I wish I'd forget,_

_The memory I wanna forget…_

_Is goodbye…_

_I woke this morning and heard my song,_

_And through my tears, I sang along._

_I picked up my phone and then, put it down_

_Cause I know I'm wasting my time…_

_I still cried!_

_I remember when we kissed_

_I still feel it on my lips…_

_The time that you danced with me, _

_With no music playing!_

_I remember the simple things._

_I remember till I cried._

_But the one thing I wish I'd forget,_

_The memory I wanna forget…_

_I wished my cell phone's blowing up with your ring tone_

_I would of hesitated but answered it anyway,_

_You sounded so alone…_

_And I wished I'd hear you say…!_

_You remember when we kissed._

_You still feel it on your lips!_

_The time that you danced with me, _

_With no music playing!_

_You remember the simple things._

_We talked till I cried._

_But the one thing that I regret,_

_The memory I wish you'd forget…_

_Is saying goodbye…_

_Saying goodbye…_

_Goodbye…_

The crowd erupted and I looked back at Edwards face, and I almost burst into tears of anger…and sadness. My tears fell hurriedly down my face, and I began my new song.

"You are the only exception," I said staring at Edwards pained face.

_When I was younger, I saw,_

_My daddy cry, and curse at the wind._

_He broke his own heart._

_And I watched,_

_As he tried to reassemble it._

_And my momma swore,_

_That she would never let herself forget_

_And that was the day that I promised_

_That I would never sing of love, if it did not exhist…_

_But darling,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception…_

_Maybe I know, somewhere,_

_Deep in my soul, that love never lasts._

_And we've got to find, other ways to make it alone,_

_Or keep a straight face_

_And I've always lived like this, _

_Keeping a comfortable distance,_

_Up until now…_

_I had sworn to myself that,_

_I'm content, with loneliness,_

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk…_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception…_

_I've got a tight grip on reality,_

_But I can't let go of what's in front of me here._

_I know your leaving in the morning when I wake up._

_But leave some kind of proof it's not a dream…_

_Ooh…_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception…_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception,_

_You are the only exception…_

_And I'm on my way to believing…_

_Oh, and, I'm, on, my way to believing…_

And that's when I ran off of the stage, though I still had one more song, but not before, a pair of cold hard arms caught me.

"hey bella" Emmett said as he swung me in his arms. That was when I screamed. I screamed, and didn't stop. Then security came and asked Emmett to put me down, which he did, and when Kale had come over picked me up and ran to the change room, i ssaw a quick glimpse of his face. Hurt, thats all i saw there.

EPOV

I stood there, completely frozen in shock.

My families thoughts were the same.

_OMG it's Bella!but I saw the car..._

_Bella? BELLA!_

_But I thought that she died._

_My sisters alive!_

_But what about the car crash? Alice saw..._

All of a sudden i couldn't see Emmett anymore. He must have gone to see her. All i wanted to do was go wrap my arms around her. Kiss her. And tell her that everything was going to be okay. But I couldn't. I stood here. the songs still perfect in my mind.

_That I would never sing of love, if it did not exhist…_

_Cause I know I'm wasting my time…_

_Cause I knew he'd never love me back…_

Those sentences all replayed in my head over and over. They were all wrong. I had been thinking so hard that I didn't realise that Emmett had come back.

"She...she screamed at me. _Screamed_. My own sister. Bella. Screamed at me" He mumbled over and over again. Everyone including me, suddenly hated me. We were all frozen, until Emmett turned to glare at me, through the confused crowd.

"You..." Then he lunged knocking us both to the ground.

**A/N- the songs are**

**Near to you- A fine frenzy**

**Goodbye- Miley Cyrus (With changed lyrics, sort of)**

**The only exception- Paramore**

**Review!**


	3. SO WHAT I am a rockstar

**I CHANGED MY NAME TO ****J'AimeLeDe'clinDuJour**

**A/N- Sorry that I haven't updated in FOREVER, but this is making it up to my few, but faithful reviewers, but all of the people who read without reviewing, I will send Victoria after you, yes, you will regret it…*Evil laugh***

**SPECIAL THANKS TO…**

**FeelItWithYourHeart**

**Ticktocktwilightlove**

**EdwardCullensMyDreamMan**

**Lonnxc**

**Topazflowerxox**

**Singergurlxoxo**

**vampire girl456789**

**Teamjacob4ever101**

**RenataVolturi16**

Chapter 2

After my encounter with Emmett I had scared everyone half to death because I had stopped breathing. Apparently. I didn't think so, but I don't remember because I was pretty sure that I fainted.

Oh, no. I hate realisation. If Emmett's here, then Edwards here. The name hurts. A lot. Thank god that we were only here for another 6 hours, we were leaving in the morning, we were going on a break in the tour, I was going back to visit Charlie, and figure out college.

"Izzi, are you okay?" Kales voice echoed through my thoughts, a distraction. I like distractions.

"Yes" I replied staring up at his perfect features, I may have forgotten to mention that Kale and I had been dating for the past two months, three weeks, and five days. Kale was perfect, everything I had ever wanted.

_Almost._

The annoying person in my head told me. I had been hearing a lot from her lately, I like to call her Bella. The old me, the old me that thought rationally, and decided what she was going to do before she did it. Unlike Izzi, the reckless, depressed version of the real me.

"We called off the show, I figured you didn't want to end it" I smiled at Kales thoughtfulness. I kissed him, short and sweet, and pulled back, in just enough time to hear the horrified gasp coming from the doorway. There stood the Greek Adonis himself…

"Edward" I gasped. He stood there in shock. How did he manage to get here to…wherever…I was? The back room, next to the stage, but that was irrelevant. I didn't give him the chance to say something. I screamed, so loud that I almost heard a stampede in the plains of Africa.

Africa.

Animals living peacefully…

"AHHHHHHH!!!" Echo…Echo…Echo…

Animals go bizerk. STAMPEDE ALERT.

Edward was gone in less than a second. But my mind was frozen over. What was he doing here? Why has he come back to hurt me like this? These questions buzzed in my head, but they couldn't be answered because of my unstoppable screaming. Kale was calling security, but it would be no use, Edward was gone, he would be miles away by now.

Good.

I needed my space, who does he think he is? Coming back, just thinking that I'll accept him like he didn't hurt me.

_Oh, but he did, didn't he._

I hate that voice in the back of my head, she is always right. She has ways of poking and jabbing at the wounds in my chest. I had stopped screaming, the pain in my chest was unbearable, my breath was coming out in quick gasps, and I would groan, or moan in pain with every inhale.

"Kale" I managed to get out.

"Don't worry, Izzi, luckily there was a doctor in the audience, you'll be OK now" Kale said in a strained tone. If he really cared about me, he would send the damn doctor away! I don't need a doctor, or a therapist, which I see every week.

I could hear a camera crew outside, wanting to know what was wrong with me. I already had a Twitter account! Look there in a few hours, bitches!

A pair of cold hands started to feel and touch my forehead. Carlisle. I didn't scream. He was the only one that I partially trusted.

"Carlisle," I breathed out in Relief.

"It's OK, Bella I'm here" Carlisle said, I looked at his face, his perfect face. I jumped into his arms, he held me carefully, not wanting to alarm me.

"No…Bella…here" I wheezed out. "Izzi"

"Izzi" he said, rubbing my back and looking at me, I had calmed down, the edges still hurt, but I could feel them slowly healing. No, I was not ready to accept them all, but Esme and Carlisle, I could handle.

"Now, Do you have a medical record of what you have been feeling?" he asked me.

I shook my head. No.

"Ok, tell me where it hurts" I point to my chest. He looks it over, paying no attention to my breasts, obviously, he's like my father, and he is the closest thing to my father now.

"Good news, and bad, this pain is purely psychological, it isn't really there, just your imagination, and that is also the bad thing, this pain is not as easy to heal as it would be physically, you have to work up on it" he stared at me hard in the eye.

"It's already healing" I said and then disappeared into the darkness. My home.

EPOV

After Emmett came back and attacked me, which I skilfully dodged, I had ran up to stage left, and managed to persuade some of the female security to let me pass, I had found the room that followed Bella's scent.

I had never felt more alive; because my Bella was alive!

I stopped at the doorway, and stared at the two people on the couch in there, Bella and what's-his-face Kale, I didn't like his thought's, he plans on taking advantage of her.

Though her soft, pink lips were crushed to his, even for just a second. I let out a gasp, and Bella's heart shaped face turned toward me.

"Edward" she whispered. She looked almost relieved to see me, before her expression turned into one of horror. She started to scream, not just normal screaming, this scream was blood curdling, ear-splitting. Horrible, I was out of there in a second, I flew by so fast, and no one saw me.

Bella had moved on, she hated me, she was scared of me, I felt like I was being torn to pieces, eaten alive by my own self hatred, like slimy maggots crawling up my body, nibbling and spitting out, I tasted so horrible that not even fly larvae even wanted to have me.

I had been frozen for the past eighteen months, I don't think that I had fed for over six weeks; I was partially amazed by that fact, though Jasper would be slightly happy if he felt any kind of emotion from me anymore.

Alice wasn't happy, no longer feeling the need to shop or do anything anymore, except for this concert, which, she thought would cheer us all up, Forgotten to Forget has been her favourite band for a long tome now, she's into depressants, not that Bella's music was depressing, just not happy.

Emmett wasn't happy, Rosalie wasn't even bothering to be a bitch to anyone anymore, everyone blamed it on me, because it was my fault, even I hated me.

I would have to approach Bella somehow, explain that I loved her, that I did it all for her sake, though I wouldn't be able to get near her without having to go through all of the security and her loving Boyfriend Kale, who didn't even love her like I knew that she loved him, she is so dedicating, focussing on one thing at a time, I am hoping that it is her music, not the self-obsessed boyfriend.

I got into my Volvo and sped away, towards the house that we were living in at the moment, it was rather similar to our old one in Forks, though I didn't like this one as much.

I threw my door open and walked up the steps leading to the house, I didn't even bother to open the door, I just walked through it, it left behind my shape carved into the door, I laughed humourlessly, then kicked the couch as I walked past, it spun in the air and flew through the window, I started to laugh hysterically, God, I am a lunatic. I punched the wall of the staircase and the stairs came crumpling down, and I heard Alice come through the door, she wrapped her tiny arms around my waist and I collapsed, I sat there dry-sobbing with Alice holding me, soon enough Alice was crying, and so was the whole family as they came through the door. Emmett just had a crazy idea, my head snapped up and so did everyone else's as they saw mine. It took only seven words to voice Emmett's idea and get everyone smiling like crazy.

"Operation Get Bella Back Has Officially Started"

**A/N- Hoped you like it, just a filler though**

**Review!**


	4. Ignorance is not Bliss

**A/N- I am soooooooo Sorry that I haven't updated in ages, I got a new computer and it didn't have Microsoft word on it for ages, then I had, like, six assignments to do and four assessments to study for, please forgive me?**

Chapter 4

Bella POV

Ignorance is not bliss.

Figures.

As if my life could get any worse than it already was, figuratively speaking, though I had a great life- to a certain extent- I'm pretty sure that I am making absolutely no sense. I'm right aren't I?

_Of course you are- you're a freak, face it_

Izzy said snidely. Izzy, not Bella.

Bella is gone, I'm sure that I have thought this before?

I looked at of the plane window in distaste, Forks. Two words. Rain, and snow. Ugh. And the memories- the best times of my life-See the reason for my distaste?

Kale was dancing to the music blaring from the speakers in our private jet. Carla and Blake were looking at him with amused expressions. I looked at Carla's purple hair, nose ring, eyebrow ring, purple eye contacts, making her eyes stand contrast against her thick mascara and eye-liner, gothic.

_A perfect role model for American teens_- Izzy said

_Shut-up_-I thought back.

She rolled her eyes.

Blake was similar to Carla, well not in looks, or build, he was tall and muscular, whereas Carla was small, thin, and, well, I wouldn't say petite, hence the gothic look. No, he had black hair, Light grey eyes, lip piercing, eyebrow piercing, and tongue piercing, lovely. Carla thought it was cool, that's all that mattered. They'd been going out for a while now, I pulled them together, gave them fifty bucks, and all but shoved them out of the door, and they had hit off straight away after that.

It's funny; I help people find their other halves, yet I don't seem to be able to do that for myself. Sure Kale was fun to hang out with, but we won't last, I'm sure of it, he's just too…too 'out there' for me, we'd go our separate ways.

Food had arrived, I smiled at the waitress and she shyly asked for my autograph.

* * *

I was running through the trees, there was a bright light shining through two of them, I ran towards it, tripping over my feet, scraping my palms, and bare knees, my hair shaking out violently around my face, I got up and ran again, only to trip over an overgrown root shooting out of the damp soil, I got up, cuts on my arms. I saw a figure standing where the bright light was, or should have been, all I saw was him-my other half. He was at the edge of a cliff. Edward. I screamed his name, to warn him of how close he was to the edge. He just stared and murmured, "We're leaving and I don't want you to come with me, Bella" The words hurt almost the same as when he left me, I stumbled but kept running. I ran, and ran and ran…straight through him, through his arms. I felt a tear in my chest as I did so, as if he ripped out my heart whilst I was running. I fell off of the cliff, my screams, muted by Edward's laughing, and the waves roaring beneath me. The fall took forever yet I was still too close to the water, rushing up to meet me, so close now I can feel myself dying... One last chance, I screamed "EDWARD!"

"IZZY!" Something shook me, hard. "Izzy, babe, wake-up!" What? Why am I here? This does not sound like heaven, or hell for that matter.

I opened my eyes, and saw Kales Muddy Brown ones. I smiled weakly, and didn't realize that I was shaking violently, and there were tears running down my cheeks and neck, soaking my shirt. I was in a hotel room, in Forks. News reporters everywhere, all focusing on me.

"Who's Edward?" The nearest one asked me. I blinked, what?

"Wha-what?" I asked.

"The one you were screaming about, we all heard you, outside of the room, in the hallway" The reporter looked oddly familiar, Blue eyes, brown hair, short, sort of pretty-sort of- and very forward.

"Jessica Stanley?" I said it like a question, instead of a statement.

"Yes" She said. "Now, about Edward…bad relationship? Ex Boyfr-" she suddenly broke off. "Edward Cullen?" she snorted when I didn't reply, she turned to the camera. "Here you have it, folks, Bella swan is still in love with Edward Cullen" She started to laugh, and all of the people around her followed suit, it seemed the whole room was now laughing.

I ran out of the room and into the closest one-the bathroom, I could hear the reporters shouting my name, and Kale banging angrily on my door, insisting that he know who Edward is.

I couldn't tell him- not yet, not ever.

* * *

EPOV

We had worked out our strategy, pretty straight forward-follow her to Forks, get her by herself, and, well, see what happens. We all sat around in our old home in Forks, watching the news for any signs that Bella had arrived. They were going on about some murders in Seattle, I'm sure everyone else was listening, I'd read their minds later. Suddenly Bella's face popped up on screen, now I listened-we all did.

They were showing footage they got from Bella's hotel room. She was shaking violently and crying. I felt anger spike up in me, Jasper kept giving me glances every couple of seconds.

"Who's Edward?" The nearest one asked her. What? How would they know about me?

"Wha-what?" Bella mumbled, looking extremely confused, as confused as me, actually.

"The one you were screaming about, we all heard you, outside of the room, in the hallway" It was Jessica Stanley-I never liked her-ever.

"Jessica Stanley?" She said it like a question.

"Yes" She answered bluntly. "Now, about Edward…bad relationship? Ex Boyfr-" she suddenly broke off. "Edward Cullen?" she snorted when Bella didn't reply, she turned to the camera. Oh, no. "Here you have it, folks, Bella swan is still in love with Edward Cullen" She started to laugh, and all of the people around her followed her, the whole room was now laughing.

Bella ran out of the room and into the room that looked like the bathroom, the reporters shouting her name, and that guy-Kale banging angrily on the door, insisting that he know who I was.

I wanted to punch him-and Jessica, for hurting Bella, I kicked a wall, I could see into the next room now.

The rest of the family were cheering, and dancing. "What is _WRONG_ with you?" I roared.

Alice ran over and gave me a hug. "Bella _still_ loves you!"

**A/N-Review and tell me how awesome this chapter was- even if it was kinda short.**


	5. California Gurls

**Chapter 4- OMG**

EPOV

This news was shocking to me definitely. Bella loves me?

Impossible.

Unbelievable.

Incredible.

Outstanding.

Perfect!

But still impossible.

"Are…are you sure Alice?

'Of course I'm sure, silly!" Alice rolled her eyes at me. I looked at my cheering family. Even rose was happy; she denied it in her thoughts, saying that it was only for my benefit. I snorted and she glared at me.

"Don't you all care about her? She just got publicly humiliated!" I yelled, exasperated.

"Of course we care, she's our sister! We can fix this!" Alice grinned.

"You'll just have to be her shoulder to cry on!" Rose laughed.

That didn't sound like such a bad idea.

**BPOV**

Kill. Me. Now.

I would be much happier if someone just killed me.

Now.

Preferably.

I had managed to get out of the hotel by climbing out the bathroom window and climbing three stories down to the ground by a water pipe. After disguising my self of course.

Right now, I am a blonde haired blue-eyed girl with a California tan. I am pretty skillful. Alice would be proud.

It didn't hurt as much to think their names now, even Edward. Names can't hurt me.

I will just treat them with utter nonchalance, that is, if they ever come to me again. My heart gave a tiny little squeeze at that thought.

Did I want Edward to keep coming after me? The answer was simple.

Yes. Yes I did.

Was I going to let him take me back?

No. No I wasn't.

Why?

Because I can't handle even the thought of him leaving me again.

My thoughts had gone silent.

The dark night street was empty. I knew where I was. I was walking down the street that led to Mike Newton's house was. I wonder if he still lived there. Well, I wasn't going to find out.

It felt good to be back in Forks. Home. The damp smell of the roots from the trees. The familiar green blur of the forest. Comforting.

I was listening to my iPod.

California Gurls was playing, by Katy Perry. I met her once. She is really strange.

_I know a place where the grass is really greener_

_Warm, wet and wild, there must be something in the water_

_Sipping gin and juice, laying underneath the palm trees_

_The boys break their necks trying to creep a little sneak peek_

Something moved in the dark trees next to me. Not human. And not an animal. My steps and breath quickened. I walked briskly down the crumbling path. I saw a figure this time. But it was gone before I looked properly.

"Edward!" I called.

No reply.

"Alice" I whispered as I backed up against a gate to a house.

I heard smooth tinkling laughter from behind the closest tree, and a flash of red.

Before I could go anywhere, let out a scream or even breath. I wasn't standing on the street anymore.

I was flying. Through the trees, and through the air. And I stared into cold black eyes that could have only been Victoria's. I was going to scream, the girlyest scream I had ever screamed, but her hand was clasped tight over my mouth.

But how did she find me? I was under perfect disguise! But my blood…I couldn't disguise my blood. There was no hiding from her.

"I guess your wondering why I have captured you, and how I knew it was you. The answer is simple really. Your blood is distinct form all the other humans. And I have you because you're the only thing that can cause Edward pain, except death for himself" She laughed. God I hated her.

Her hand moved from my mouth once we got far enough into the forest that no-one could hear me.

"Did you know that I really hate you?" I said.

She laughed. "Actually, I did, humans have such a strange sense of humor" She shook her head.

"I'm glad I can amuse someone" I said sarcastically. If I was going to die anyway, what was the point of being frightened of her?

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked.

She stared at me hard in the eye, her red hair billowing around her. "No, I will not kill you"

I was puzzled. "Why not?"

"Do you want to die?" She answered my question with another question.

"No, not particularly, but it wouldn't be so bad. Yes, yes I do want to die" I said nodding my head slightly; there wasn't much room as she was carrying me.

"Then of course I'm not going to kill you, I want you to suffer"

Oh great.

**Review, review, review!**


	6. Weird Is Normal In My World

**A/N- IMPORTANT! Okay, I said that Bella was going to visit Charlie in chapter 2, but that is wrong because Charlie is dead, all will be revealed in this chapter.**

**ALSO IMPORTANT! I'm looking for a Beta reader for both of my stories for Twilight Fanfiction-Incompletely Human, and Always forgetting to forget you-so if one of my reviewers is a Beta, could you review and tell me? Thankyou!**

Chapter 5- Weird is normal in my world

APOV

The vision ended and I realized how close Victoria was to Bella, I mean Izzy, here. Strange, it came from Bella's point of view, which is highly unusual.

"Edward…?" I asked, knowing he had already seen the vision through my thoughts.

We had been celebrating that Bella still loved Edward when the vision came to me, ending all positive thoughts.

"How far away is it Alice?" Edward asked, vibrating with anger. I

"I don't know!" I screamed with frustration. I quickly told everyone what happened in my vision. "If we get over there now, we could put a stop to it, but it can't be you Edward" I paused thinking of who might go…

"I'll go" Rosalie said. We all stared at her in shock.

"I'll go," She repeated.

"Why would you want to go?" Edward asked. "You don't even like her"

"It's not that I don't like her, I just don't want her to be one of us, well like this, anyway" She replied. We knew why, she didn't have to explain.

"Okay, Rose will go." I said, looking into the future. Bella's future shifted abruptly, and I could see Rose talking to her. "Okay, go." She sped out of the room, the door slamming behind her.

"I hope you know what your doing Alice," Edward said, running his hand through his hair.

"Everything is going to be fine, Edward, stop worrying" I said, though I wasn't so sure myself. Jasper walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist, and sent soothing emotions my way, I smiled and kissed his nose. We were all waiting and hoping.

**BPOV**

Kill. Me. Now.

I would be much happier if someone just killed me.

Now.

Preferably.

I had managed to get out of the hotel by climbing out the bathroom window and climbing three stories down to the ground by a water pipe. After disguising my self of course.

Right now, I am a blonde haired blue-eyed girl with a California tan. I am pretty skillful. Alice would be proud.

It didn't hurt as much to think their names now, even Edward. Names can't hurt me.

I will just treat them with utter nonchalance, that is, if they ever come to me again. My heart gave a tiny little squeeze at that thought.

Did I want Edward to keep coming after me? The answer was simple.

Yes. Yes I did.

Was I going to let him take me back?

No. No I wasn't.

Why?

Because I can't handle even the thought of him leaving me again.

My thoughts had gone silent.

The dark night street was empty. I knew where I was. I was walking down the street that led to Mike Newton's house was. I wonder if he still lived there. Well, I wasn't going to find out.

It felt good to be back in Forks. Home. The damp smell of the roots from the trees. The familiar green blur of the forest. Comforting.

I was listening to my iPod.

California Gurls was playing, by Katy Perry. I met her once. She is really strange.

_I know a place where the grass is really greener_

_Warm, wet and wild, there must be something in the water_

_Sipping gin and juice, laying underneath the palm trees_

_The boys break their necks trying to creep a little sneak peek_

Something moved in the dark trees next to me. Not human. And not an animal. My steps and breath quickened. I walked briskly down the crumbling path. I saw a figure this time. But it was gone before I looked properly.

"Edward!" I called.

No reply.

"Alice" I whispered as I backed up against a gate to a house.

"It's me, Rosalie," A voice whispered from behind me.

"Rosalie!" I said relief flooding through my body. I jumped into her arms and she caught me, and held me for a few uncomfortable seconds before I let go, stepped back and whipped my eyes free of traitor tears.

"Sorry, I just thought you were Victoria" I said.

"It's okay, that's why I'm here, if I wasn't, you would have been taken by her, and changed into a Vampire" She said bluntly.

But how did she find me? I was under perfect disguise! But my blood…I couldn't disguise my blood. There was no hiding from that. That, and Alice, I couldn't escape from her either.

"I guess your wondering how I found you, and how I knew it was you. The answer is quite simple really…"

"Alice" We both said, and laughed nervously.

"Did you come to tell me something, or…did you just come to save me from possible death or Vampirization?" I asked, trying to add a little bit of humor to the situation.

"Um, I didn't really think when I came out here about what I was going to say to you, but I think it would be best if you came back to our house before you go back, my family would probably like to talk to you." She said.

"Um…" I gulped "I don't know, I have to be back…" She cut me off.

"Back to hiding in your bathroom until everyone leaves? That doesn't sound very enjoyable. Please come back? Everyone misses you, even I can't stand you not being around anymore…" I could see this was an extremely uncomfortable thing for her to say to me, so I nodded and she picked me up and ran to her house.

"Nice disguise, by the way" She said as the house came in view.

"Uh, thanks…" I said. Quickly taking the contacts out and throwing them on the ground as we stopped and she put me down.

She laughed and opened the door, I held my breath as I-reluctantly-walked in after her.

I could hear voices as we neared the living room. I didn't know if I could handle this! Nope, I definitely couldn't, I stopped and turned around, not before Rosalie caught me and dragged me along behind her.

I whimpered and she gave me a sympathetic look, before dragging me into the living room. Everyone had gone still as I came in view. I paused just standing there, waiting for the floor to open up and swallow me.

It didn't. Damn you floor!

Esme suddenly stood up, walked over and hugged me. I didn't hug her back. I definitely wanted to but I couldn't.

"Bella! It's good to see you!" Esme said as she pulled back, sadness in her eyes as she looked at me. I was going to burst into tears! Everyone made me feel so guilty! But I wasn't the one who left me.

"Hello" I said politely. I still respected her and Carlisle; I was going to be polite to them.

"Hi Bella!" Alice leapt up to give me a hug, but I stepped backwards and my back hit the wall with a low thump. Alice stopped mid way to me, looking like she was going to cry.

"Hi Alice. Hello everyone" I said.

"Hi" Everyone said back to me, as Alice sat back down.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked, stepping away from the wall.

"Could you explain to me how you're still alive?" It was Alice that answered me.

"What?" I asked, totally confused.

"I saw the crash, I assumed…" Alice trailed off.

I flinched back. Ah, she saw the car crash. My hand automatically went to my upper left arm. Everyone noticed that, following my hand moved.

**_Flashback_**

_Charlie and I were driving to the supermarket, I had finally got him to go with me food shopping, to teach him how to eat properly and read the tags on the food he bought. _

_ We were driving down the road in the pouring rain when I saw a flash of red and pale white skin. Charlie swerved automatically thinking there was an animal or a person on the road. Panic found it's way into my head as fear also settled in._

_ "DAD!" I yelled as the cruiser hit a tree rolling over into the muddy bank and down a hill, I couldn't see a thing as the car flipped down the hill, except for the blur of black and green. The air bags had blown, and the air was knocked out of my chest. The car stopped as we hit another tree._

_I opened the door, we facing the right way up, which was a good sign, I stumbled out of the car, noticing that the front was in flames, I staggered over to the other side of the car and opened Charlie's door. Charlie was unconscious, and I screamed when I couldn't get him out of the car as I had been trying to do. I heard a crack and I fell over onto my back, screaming as I failed to get him out before the explosion. The explosion was loud and I could feel the heat and burning sensation on my left arm._

_ I thought I was going to die. I knew I was going to die as I slowly faded into the blackness…_

**_End of flashback_**

"No, I didn't die in the car crash, but my father did. Didn't you see it in the news? Or in your vision, how could you not have seen that I made it alive?" I asked them all, not actually looking anyone in the eye.

I didn't notice that I had been rubbing my left arm until Carlisle came over and lifted my shirtsleeve. I held my breath as he touched me.

"Breath Bella" He reminded me. I took a small breath, and he finally saw the unbelievably white scar of when I got it burnt from the explosion.

He sucked in a deep breath. "These are third degree burns Bella. How badly were you hurt?" My hand moved to where my head was cracked open from when we hit the first tree, and then down to my rib cage where I had had three broken ribs from the impact of the air bag. I would have moved it to my ankle where there was another burn but I stayed where I was.

Carlisle's hand moved to my head as he inspected the long gash that had been repaired by stitches. He gasped as he saw how long it was and Edward was suddenly by my side inspecting it also. I felt too over crowded, I was going to faint by the proximity of him. Then Jasper came to my rescue.

"Edward, move back, I keep thinking that she's going to make a run for it, and with you being that close to her, she almost did" Jasper said.

"Oh, I'm sorry" Edward frowned and moved away from me, sadness filling his eyes.

"Um, no it's okay" I said quietly, his head snapped back up with my words.

"Are you sure Bella? I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable…" He said inching closer slightly.

"Yeah, I'm sure, you can all look if you want to" I said giving Edward a small smile. He moved forward and ran his hands through my hair, feeling over the scar. I almost sighed, and I think I heard him though, until his hand went over the scar. Then a small worried line formed between his eyebrows, I wanted to lean up and smooth it out, but I also didn't do that.

"Oh, I didn't see you get saved, I saw you get out of the car, and try to help Charlie, I saw the explosion, but I didn't see you get saved…" Alice said. "Who saved you?" She asked.

"Um, Sam Uley did" I said, I thought I might mention that he was a werewolf so, here goes…"He's, sort of, a werewolf" I said.

"A WEREWOLF!" Edward exploded. "We leave you and then the wolves descend!" He shouted.

"I didn't see you at the concert either, not until we got there…Are you hanging out with him?" Alice asked.

"Not Sam" I said. "I hang out with Jacob though, and he's also a werewolf"

"Great! Now your hanging out with werewolves! Just when I leave so you can have a _normal_, happy human life, you _hang out_ with werewolves!" Edward roared.

"Well I'm not exactly _normal_, am I Edward?" I yelled back at him. "First, I fall in love with a _110 year old_ _mind-reading vampire_, and then I befriend his _psychic vampire_ sister, who is married to an _empath vampire_, who attacks me on my 18th birthday! Then, said _vampire's _leave me because I'm _human,_ and then I _happen to befriend a pack of werewolves! _I wouldn't call that _normal_ Edward!"

Edward stared at me shocked, and silence had swept over the room. "Then, on top of all that, her father dies in a car crash, and I become a world famous singer for singing _depressing_ songs because those _vampires left me_ because they want me to be _normal_!"

"She does have a point Edward" Emmett said, and everyone turned to stare at him, "Well she wasn't normal wasn't when she came to Forks, she wasn't normal when we left, and she still isn't normal now, so there wasn't really a point in leaving, we just made it worse."

Okay, now even I was in shock, Emmett can be _deep _when it comes to things like this. "Thankyou!" I said to Emmett "Someone who finally agrees with me that weird is my normal!"

"You're welcome Bella. Does that mean that you'll come back to us mow?" Emmett asked, whilst everyone stared at me for the answer.

"Um…" I paused. "We can all be friends," I turned to Edward as I said that "Just friends, but it might take me a little while to get back into the routine, and if you try to do anything that's a little out of my comfort zone then it will be uncomfortable for me."

"Good enough for me!" Alice said as she jumped up to hug me. I hugged her back after a second of hesitation.

I stood there hugging Alice long enough to see the pain and sadness in Edwards eyes. If only he could know that I terribly wished that he loved me back…but I knew he didn't, not after what he said to me that day in the forest…

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	7. God Hates Me

**A/N-I AM REALLY ANNOYED! ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO DON"T REVIEW ARE GONNA PAY, BECAUSE I GET SENT A MESSAGE THAT TELLS ME WHEN MY STORY GETS FAVORITED AND STORY/AUTHOR ALERTED! SO I PLAN ON GETTING MANY REVIEWS AFTER THIS! I ONLY GOT FOUR REVIEWS, AND SIX PEOPLE WHO FAVORITED AND/OR STORY ALERTED MY STORY!**

**Now that I have that out, I have a beta reader now so my chapters should be much better, so I'd like to thank FeelItWithYourHeart for beta-ing for me. Oh! And I'd like to thank the few people that offered to Beta for me as well, so thankyou ****Micky-Rox101 and singergurlxoxo. If there were any more that offered, I am sorry for not mentioning you.**

**So here goes…**

**EPOV**

My heart broke in two when Bella said we could be friends, but at least it's progress. She has gone from hating me to hating me slightly less.

I watched as she stepped away from Alice awkwardly, I knew that it was going to be extremely difficult to get my family's' relationship with Bella back to the way it was before we left.

Alice gave me a sympathetic glance, but I didn't need her sympathy. I can deal with this, I am a grown man! I chanted this over and over until my head hurt. Bella looked slightly uncomfortable standing there quietly beside the wall, I watched her as she chewed on her bottom lip and twirled a piece of hair around her fingers awkwardly.

Jasper was the first to break the silence. "I believe that I haven't apologized for my behaviour from several months ago. Please realise that I am deeply sorry, I just lost control for a few seconds…it is entirely my fault."

Bella's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped open. "No! Jasper! Don't blame yourself, it was definitely not your fault, don't even think that! It was all my fault!" Bella practically yelled.

"Thank you for that, Bella, but I have to disagree with you, it was entirely my fault, I should have controlled myself" Jasper said

Bella sighed in frustration and ran a hand through her long, soft, blonde hair, blonde actually looks good on Bella, but then again, everything looks good on Bella, I thought to myself"Jasper…," She whined, "Please, please, please do not blame yourself, I can't bear it! Let me be responsible for my own stupidity…I'm sorry" She said quietly.

"I'm sorry" Jasper said, "You have nothing to be sorry over"

"Yes I do! I'm sorry!" She argued.

"I'm sorry!" Jasper said standing up from his place on the couch.

"No, _I'm_ sorry!" This was getting ridiculous.

"_No, I'm_ sorry!" Jasper yelled. They were both up in each other's faces, having a stare-down as they yelled.

"I'M SORRY!" Bella yelled.

"I'M SORRY!"

"I'M SOR-"

"SHUT-_UP_!" Emmett yelled, "God, we all understand that you're sorry! Can't you just agree to disagree, and forgive each other? _Jeez…"_ Emmett muttered the last part.

Bella blushed and Jasper smiled stepping away from her.

"Forgive me?" He asked.

"Forgive _me_?" This was _sooo_ not happening again.

"YES! You both forgive each other, now can we move _on_?" Emmett erupted again.

I burst out laughing, every one looking at me strangely. Alice was the first to break and laugh with me, with Bella and Jasper next. Rosalie tried to hide her amusement but a small giggle slipped out, ruining her calm, arrogant façade. Carlisle and Esme, smiled at each other, shaking their heads at our ridiculousness, still holding out as our parental figures.

Emmett just stood there looking at us for a while, not seeing the hilarity of it all, but then just started to laugh too.

After another few minutes the laughter died down.

Bella giggled quietly, and said, "I can't _believe_ we just did that, I mean, how old are we? _Five?"_

"I know! That had to be the most idiotic argument I've had in almost fifty years!" He laughed again.

Alice walked up and hugged jasper, and he put his arms around her as they smiled at each other with such love that I almost exploded, sad that I wouldn't be able to do that for Bella.

**BPOV**

We had been laughing about Jasper's and my argument, which was really quite stupid, but I was glad that we got the apology out, it cleared up a few things.

But then I just had to say something stupid. "I missed you all"

The warmth and laughter in the air suddenly disappeared. I cursed silently, why did I have to ruin everything? Was I mentally impaired?

"I missed you too!" Alice said cuddling more into Jasper when they sat down.

"Yeah, I couldn't make fun of you anymore!" Emmett teased, and Rosalie whacked his arm lightly, and smiled at me. Which was strange, coming from her. Jasper nodded and said "Though it would be nice not to want to kill you all the time" I laughed and he smiled.

"We all missed you" Esme said wrapping an arm around me, as Carlisle kissed her hair.

I noticed that Edward hadn't said anything or showed any sign that he missed me. My heart sank to the ground. I didn't dare look at him; my heart couldn't take anymore.

"I think its time that I go…" I said sliding out of Esme's embrace.

"Bellaaaaaaaa…" Alice whined "Can't you just stay with us?"

"I'm…not quite comfortable with that yet Alice." I said as I edged towards the door. Alice frowned but didn't show any real signs of hurt, if she did then I might've forgotten that she did leave me as well, not just Edward.

"Goodbye everyone" I said as I stepped out of the door "Edward" I nodded towards him, as a small sign of a goodbye. I may have forgiven Jasper for almost killing me, and I couldn't be mad at Esme and Carlisle. But I hadn't forgiven them for leaving me.

**EPOV**

AAAGGH! Why did I not tell her I missed her? When I was going to, the words just got stuck in my mouth, because I was worried about how she would take it.

And then just to top it off, she didn't say goodbye to me! She just _acknowledged _that I was there!

I should have told her I missed her.

Why, _why,_ WHY?

Because I am an idiot. That's why.

And now she was gone, and I didn't even know where! I couldn't even think about her going back to _Kale_, but it was the only place that she could go.

God hates me.

**BELLA POV**

I climbed back up the water pipe (with great difficulty), trying to make myself stay unseen. I finally reached the window, and I stood on the small ledge beneath it. I lifted the window up and slipped in, as quiet as possible. I pressed my ear to the door and could hear a faint snoring.

As soon as I felt that it was safe to have a shower I quickly turned it on, got in and started to wash the blonde out of my hair, and I watched the golden brown of my fake tan wash down the drain.

When I stepped out of the shower, wrapping myself in the hotels soft, white towels I looked into the mirror and saw I was myself again.

I put on the jeans and t-shirt that I was wearing before and I tiptoed out of the bathroom, and walked into the unoccupied room, I put on some cotton shorts, leaving the t-shirt on, and crawled into the cool bed.

I closed my eyes, and swore to myself that I would never fall in love again. I fell asleep with the feel of smooth cold lips press against my forehead. Though I was sure that I was dreaming.

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	8. Love The Way You Lie

**A/N- IGNORE THE AUTHORS NOTE I WAS BEING SUCH A BITCH AND I WAS SO UNGRATEFUL! anyway sorry for the long wait!**

**Chapter 8**

**EPOV**

I turned and walked out of the door after Bella, keeping a safe distance behind her. I just wanted to make sure that she was going to be okay, after Alice's vision, I was just going to have to be careful.

I almost ruined it when I saw her crawling up the rain water pipe I nearly burst out laughing at the sight, but I almost went up there to help her myself, as I was so sure that she was going to fall. In the end, though, she made it up and through the window. I stood outside the hotel until I heard the shower turn off, and heard someone crawl into bed. I climbed stealthily and quietly up the same rain water pipe and into the hotel.

I walked out of the bathroom door and into the living room. The living room's walls were a nice beige colour, and all the cushions were either gold coloured or a deep red colour; the black leather couches and large flat screen TV complemented the modern look nicely.

I listened for the familiar sound of Bella's breathing amongst the other humans. When I found it, I followed the sound and it lead into a small room that had a similar design to the living room.

Then I saw Bella. She was curled on her side, facing away from me with the blanket tucked up under her chin. Perfect for sneaking up on someone. I walked up behind her and placed my lips on her forehead. She shuddered slightly at the touch and I smiled. She breathed out a sigh and was soon asleep.

I stood back up and walked to the window easily sliding it open without waking her up. I looked at her one last time before going out of the window. Her damp brown hair splayed out over the pillows, her forehead creased in concentration. I wondered about what she was thinking. I turned and was halfway out of window before I heard something.

"Edward?" It was Bella. I froze, with one leg out and one leg inside the room, deciding on whether to make a run for it or to stay. I chose to stay.

I turned and met her angry, wide, brown eyes. "Hello." I cleared my throat, and stepped back inside the room.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered angrily.

"I was just checking on you, to make sure that you were okay," I said softly.

Her eyes softened. "Oh, well I'm okay, you didn't have to follow me back."

"I know," I said, and took a deep breath, "but I wanted to."

**BPOV**

"I know, but I wanted to."

I gasped. He _wanted_ to follow _me_, to make sure that _I_ was _okay_!

"Just because you feel like you should still look after me, doesn't mean that you have to, Edward. Not anymore." I choked out, feeling anger and loss start to tear that huge hole in me again.

"But I wanted to. I didn't feel like it was my responsibility to. I just wanted to, because I lo-needed to make sure you were okay" He mumbled.

"But I don't understand!" I whisper yelled, moving into a sitting position. The hole ripped open even wider. "How could you want to? It doesn't make any sense!"

"It doesn't have to make sense! Can't you just accept that?"

"No! Answer my question properly, Edward! Jeez, you are so confusing! You never make any sense!"

"Yes, I do." He was getting frustrated now, " You just aren't listening to me."

"I am! You must feel guilty or something, because I can't even to begin to comprehend what is going on in that head of yours! And that seems like the only logical explanation."

"The only logical explanation? That I felt guilty for leaving you alone, unprotected? Intensely so, but that is not why. It is not the only explanation, Bella. Think!" He said, stepping towards me.

"It's Izzy, now. Not Bella." I mumbled quietly.

Frustrated, he ran a hand through his hair. I couldn't help but stare at him for just a moment. His hair stayed just as sexy as it was before he left, but the darker than normal circles shadowing his eyes, the tired look in his dark eyes and his crumpled clothes suggested that he had been living roughly for a while; which just added to my confusion.

"Izzy, think!" He said, and I felt a slight pang of hurt when he didn't call me Bella. _You asked him not to, moron, _my brain told me.

"I can't think, Edward, because I don't know what to think!" I answered.

He groaned and pulled his hands roughly down his face.

"Why don't you just tell me?" I asked.

"I can't," He groaned.

"Why?" Now I was getting frustrated.

"Because," was his only answer. He was just adding fuel to the fire.

"Because, why?" I asked. What I didn't expect was his answer.

"I wanted to because I love you, Bella!"

**A/N- OOOOOH!**

**You must really hate me now. I promise to update sooner. Sorry :(**


	9. Take My Hand

**A/N- I honestly can't keep saying sorry, can I?**

**Beta'd by the fabulous FeelItWithYourHeart**

**Disclaimed by the fabulous xXJasperIsSmootherThanYouXx LOL**

**Chapter 9**

_"I wanted to because I love you, Bella!"_

I gasped, completely frozen. Other than my ragged breathing, there wasn't a sound in the room. My eyes had never left Edward's, like they were trying to find something in them showing me that he was telling the truth. But he wasn't, and I knew that, I was so sure.

"Don't," I gulped, "Don't ever say that to me ever again."

"But, Bella-"

"I said, don't!" I yelled, cutting him off.

"Why won't you believe me?" He asked me, coming to stand in front of the bed.

"Why should I?" I asked him fiercely. "Why should I, when our entire relationship was a lie?"

"Bella, it wasn't, I swear." He pleaded. This was a completely different side of Edward that I was seeing now. The vulnerable side, the side that he tried so hard to not let out. This time it was him begging for me, instead of me begging for him. Seeing him like this was completely foreign to me.

"Oh, but it was, wasn't it? Ever single second was a lie, every single word. You told me you loved me time and time again. Yet, when the smallest little thing that proved a danger to me came around, you left, telling me that you never loved me. That you were leading me on." I paused to watch his reaction, pleased when he winced at my words. "You stayed with me when James attacked, but when Jasper almost attacked me because of a silly problem that could have been solved, so, so easily, you jumped up at the thought of leaving me, because…because…" I didn't really know why he left. Of all the times he told me he loved me, and then suddenly he didn't. That wasn't even possible! You can't fall in and out of love in such a small space of time.

"I never stopped loving you, Bella," he said, bringing me up and out of my frantic thoughts. "I left because I thought that it was what was best for you," he barked out a humorless and slightly hysterical laugh, "but clearly, I was so, unbelievably wrong. I mean, look at you now! You have a career, friends, and a boyfriend. I must have done something right!"

"I hate my life," I snarled. "I never wanted any of this, I wanted you! I wanted the Cullen's, I wanted Charlie!" I yelled, tears streaming down my face. "I don't want Kale, I don't want to be famous. I want to go home after being at University for a few months to visit Charlie and cook for him while he watches the game. I want you to go to the same college as me up in Alaska with Alice, Jasper, Emmett and even Rosalie! I want to go back to see Esme and Carlisle so we can all be together like we used to be!"

After my rant, I breathed several deep breaths in to keep myself calm. Obviously, I had taken Edward to his breaking point. I had prodded and prodded at him until he was over the edge and spiraling down to his death. His eyes were black and cold and his movements ceased; his hair was a complete disarray from him tugging at the roots.

With his eyes closed, he leaned over, as if curling in on himself, placed one hand on the bed, and the other on the bridge of his nose. It was such a familiar gesture. I knew that he was trying desperately to remain calm and not lash out at me for my cold words.

"Bella…" He said after a few minutes. We had both calmed down marginally, and were just collecting our thoughts-well, at least I was. "I don't know what to say."

Shocked, I leaned back onto the headboard. He didn't know what to say? Well that's a first.

"I may be a vampire, but I am still my own being. I don't always have the answers, you know." Whoops, I said that out loud.

I sighed. "How can you not know what to say?"

"I don't know what you want from me, Bella." He started to pace across the room. "What do you want me to say, I'm sorry? Well, I'm sorry! I don't know how many times I have to say it. I'm sorry for putting you in danger, I'm sorry for messing up, I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry that Charlie died, I'm sorry that…" I cut him off again.

"Get out." I said through gritted teeth.

He stopped his pacing and looked at me, shocked.

"I said, Get. Out." Tears spilled from my eyes.

"Look, I-"

"GET OUT!" I flung myself of off the bed and stood in front of him. I curled my fingers into a fist in an attempt to stop the shaking of my hands. "I never want to see you again. Ever. So GET OUT!" I screamed.

"If that is what you wish." He said, hurt evident all over his face, also showing in the way that his shoulders drooped and how he hung his head.

He walked over to the window, and then was gone.

I screamed in frustration and anger, then collapsed onto the floor.

No.

Oh, no. What had I done?

I don't know how long I laid there, crying on the floor, trying to keep the sobs to the sound of a low hiccup so I would not wake-up the others, but failed miserably. It must have been awhile, because the bright, white light of the sun started to shine in through my still open window.

The past few hours and my last conversation played around in my head, and I thought over my words and how rash and angry I had been. Inspiration struck me hard, and I practically sent my things flying as I searched the hotel room for some paper and a pen. When I found some, I almost squealed in delight, the past few days forgotten as I poured my thoughts into the lyrics of the new song.

_Touch my skin, and tell me what you're thinking_

_Take my hand and show me where we're going_

_Lie down next to me, look into my eyes and tell me, oh tell me what you're seeing_

I scribbled the words down as quickly as I could, then ran into the living room where I found Carla and Blake watching a re-run of 'The Simpsons'. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the cute but odd couple snuggling on the sofa.

"Guys, guys!" I said, jumping up and down on the spot, reminding myself of Alice. I quickly stopped.

"What?" Carla asked, slowly breaking her gaze away from the screen.

"I wrote a new song!" I said, excited. "Well, maybe. I don't know if you'll like it."

"Lets hear it, then." Blaze said, muting the TV.

"Okay…

_Touch my skin, and tell me what you're thinking_

_Take my hand and show me where we're going_

_Lie down next to me, look into my eyes and tell me, oh tell me what you're seeing_

_So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling_

_What you feel now is what I feel for you_

_Take my hand and if I'm lying to you_

_I'll always be alone_

_If I'm lying to you."_

Blaze had started to tap a steady rhythm with his hands on the coffee table in front of him and Carla was nodding along with it. I could almost hear the wheels in her head turning as she considered the possibilities of the song.

_"See my eyes, they carry your reflection_

_Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you_

_Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me, show me what you're doing_

_So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling_

_What you feel now is what I feel for you_

_Take my hand and if I'm lying to you_

_I'll always be alone_

_If I'm lying to you_

_Take your time, if I'm lying to you_

_I know you'll find that you believe me_

_You believe me."_

I stopped singing then, as that was all I had managed to scribble down. I bit my lip and waited for their response.

"It's a great start, could use some work though." Carla said, staring off into space. "If I grab my guitar, and talk to Kale, we can probably figure some more lyrics out, and make it a single. Maybe we could make a music video, and add in an orchestra, some piano and a string symphony…" Carla's mind had already started to work. This was why we all consulted her before we did anything. She and Alice would get on extremely well.

"I think it was awesome!" Blaze yelled as he got up to fist bump me.

I touched my knuckles to and muttered my thanks, when my phone started to ring loudly form the bedroom.

_If I could fall into the sky,_

_Do you think time_

_would pass me by?_

_'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles_

_If I could just see you..._

_Tonight._

"Hello?" I said as Blake rolled his eyes at my ring-tone. I stuck my tongue out at him playfully as I walked into the kitchen. Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles" would never get old for me.

"Oh, my god, Izzy! What were you thinking?" Angela's frantic voice rang through the phone.

"Angie…" She cut me off.

"Don't 'Angie' me. Why did you suddenly run off of the stage in the middle of a concert? I had to ditch work to come and see your show, and then you just abandon me, Embry and Jacob…" I sighed and just allowed her to let off some steam.

_Five minutes later..._

"-And so here I am, calling you to ask you what's wrong." Angela's speech came to an end just as Kale walked into the room with a towel hanging over his shoulders.

"Well," I said, avoiding his gaze and disappearing into the bedroom that I had occupied last night, "I may or may not have seen someone, or some people, who brought back painful memories and are maybe or maybe not stalking me." I concluded. I tried as hard as I could to not give the identity of said person, or people, but Angela was no fool.

"You saw the Cullen's!" She whisper-yelled at me.

"Why are we whispering?" I asked, whispering back to her.

"No reason." She said normally.

"O-kay…"

"They're stalking you?" She asked me worriedly.

I sighed and began to re-tell the whole story-from the beginning, as in, when I first met Edward. This was going to be a long night.

I better go grab some tissues and a few tubs of strawberry ice cream.

**EPOV**

I am nothing.

**A/N-Song that Bella sang is Dido's "Take My Hand"**

**Well, I will be away for a few days, so if you are going to, or are reading my other story I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here. I will be updating NEXT WEEK, sorry.**


	10. Shes Got You High

**A/N-Here it is! Finally!**

**Congrats to my kick-arse Beta FeelItWithYourHeart for putting up with me this long!**

**Chapter 10- She's Got You High**

**BPOV**

I felt and also heard the crunch underneath my boot clad feet as I walked down the snow-covered pathway that lead through a small space of trees and into the graveyard not far from the house I once lived in. Though, you could walk from one side of town to the other in less than half an hour, which is why my house wasn't far from a graveyard.

When I had woken up that morning I felt the absolute need to go down to my childhood home and also visit my dad. As closure, I guess. Although, I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotions that closure would bring me. I guess it wasn't closure if you couldn't handle it, but I could handle it. I had missed my father deeply and there wasn't a day that I hadn't thought of him. Of the way he would offer tiny pieces of emotion as signs that he cared, or how he would just silently appreciate how much me being there meant to him. Sometimes I could still hear the quiet sounds of a baseball game playing from a television. I never told anyone about how much my father really meant to me. Even if I didn't say it, he was pretty much my savior after the Cullen's left. Well, except for Jacob.

When I went to my old house, there was a family living in it, though I didn't know that until I walked through the door with the key that I still had. You should have seen their faces when they saw me walk into their home. It's not every day that you see a huge celebrity walk through your door with her spare key from about three years ago. They didn't freak out though, for which I was glad; they just asked me why I was there and offered me a drink.

The people who lived there were Alex and Rob Smith, along with their 1 year old daughter named Charli. She was possibly the most adorable child that you have ever seen; with dark blonde hair that came down the middle of her head looking like a small floppy Mohawk and deep dark green eyes. I told them that she looked like a tiny punk rocker. Alex was a short woman, smaller than me, with short dark curly hair that came down just past her chin, a warm smile, light brown eyes and a chin piercing. Rob, on the other hand, was exceptionally huge; he had short light blonde hair and light silver blue eyes. They were really fun to talk with. They asked me about my childhood memories of this home, and I showed them some of the places in the house that were most memorable to me.

When they showed me around the house, I started to feel glad that they came to live here. The house was special to me and now I wanted it to be special to them. When they told me that they had kept most of the furniture from when I lived here, I was grateful, but even more so when they showed me Charli's room, which was originally mine. It looked practically the same as the room from when I was a baby, save for a new dresser and some additional play things. Light blue walls, bright yellow curtains. I almost cried when I saw the rocking chair.

When I was to go, they told me that I could come over whenever I liked. And I knew that in the future, I most definitely would.

When I reached the ice-coated gates of the small graveyard, I stopped. Did I really want to do this? Did I need closure? The answer was simple. Yes, yes I did. I had felt strange ever since I came back to this town, and I hoped that after this I would be able to have some peace of mind.

I was cold, I was tired, and my mind was a jumble; my eyes watered, my fingers and toes were numb, my nose ran, my breath came out in short little puffs of mist, and my teeth chattered. To anyone else I would have looked like a mess. And I was a mess, inside and out. I didn't know how long ago it was that I brushed my hair, or the last time I looked in the mirror. I needed to take a break, a holiday, somewhere far, far away from anyone and anything; somewhere warm and sunny. I needed to visit my mom.

I also needed to open this gate, but it was frozen solid. I sighed and turned to walk away when an idea struck me. Why I was going to go through with this idea, I didn't even know. Why couldn't I just have come back another day?

I took off my gloves, my scarf and my large jacket and flung them over the fence and into the graveyard. I took a few deep breaths, grabbed a hold on the gates, and hauled myself up. My feet scrambled for a foothold. When they found one, I almost cried out in joy. It probably took me half an hour to get up and over that fence, due to my numb, uncoordinated and frozen body, but when I did I literally jumped up in joy, claiming victory over the fence. I scrambled in the snow for my scarf, coat and gloves. When I found them, I shoved them on, in a haste to get warm.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, che di mattina io per fare con te?"

"Non so." I replied, looking over the fence to see his surprised face behind the bars of the iron gate. "Che sei tu fare qui?"

"I followed you," he said, taking a careful step forward and shoving his hands deep into his pockets. "When did you learn Italian?"

"When you travel as much as I do, you easily pick up other languages." I said, wiping the tears off of my hot, red cheeks.

"You always did pick up on things rather easily." Edward said.

"I still do." I argued.

He laughed, suddenly beside me. His laugh was like music, rich and deep and, well, perfect. Though I would never admit it to myself or anyone else, everything about Edward was perfect. Edward knelt down in front of me and tucked some stray pieces of hair behind my ear. I hated it when people messed with my hair, but with Edward I would let it slip. He wiped my cheeks with his thumb and I realized that I was still crying.

Before I even knew what I was doing I hurled myself at his chest, and had my face crushed into his shoulder. Without any hesitation he wrapped his long arms around me. "I am so sorry, Bella, so, so sorry." I started crying, really crying heart-wrenching sobs that took over my whole body. I don't know how long we sat there, comforted by each other's presence, but before long, I was running out of tears and left sniffling into Edward's chest.

"Bella, love?" he asked, tilting my face up to meet his. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"No!" I said, my eyes widening with panic. "Please don't leave me." He looked pained for a second but then smiled a sad smile.

"I'll come back, Bella. It'll only be for a moment."

"Promise?" I asked, sniffing.

"I promise." He then left a cool kiss on my forehead and was gone.

Not even a minute went by and he was back, holding a wide range of flowers in his hands. He gave them all to me to put by Charlie's gravestone. When I was done arranging them the way that I wanted to, I turned back around to face him and came upon the most beautiful flower I had ever seen. It was a blood red rose. The contrast between the white of Edward's hand and the red of the rose was beautiful. I gasped "For me?"

He smiled crookedly "For you."

I took the rose from his hand, carefully avoiding the sharp prickles on the stem. "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome," he replied, touching my cheek."You're freezing. Let's get you somewhere warm." I let him help me up and take me to the gate. With a flick of his hand, all the ice shattered off of the gate and he was able to open it easily.

We walked back through the short patch of trees and onto the footpath. After a while of walking, I took his hand into my own. He looked at me in astonishment, but soon intertwined his fingers in mine. It felt good to be close to him again. I knew that I was ready to take the Cullen's back into my life right then. Just walking with Edward felt…right.

"Edward…" I began, uncurling my fingers from his hand.

"Bella, before you say anything, I just want you to know that whatever your decision is, we will all accept it."

I laughed, moving in front of him. "What?"

Edward looked at me, confused, a very rare moment for him. "Don't you want us to leave…?"

"No, no, no!" I laughed again. "I was going to say that I want you back in my life."

Edward smiled the most amazing smile, my favorite crooked smile. At that moment, it literally brightened up his whole face. "Really?" he asked.

"Really, really." I said, smiling also as I watched the snow collecting in his hair. I didn't like snow, and I didn't think I ever would, but just then I really envied the snow.

I was suddenly in the air and being spun around in circles. I felt like we were in one of those movies where the girl and the boy were laughing and happy. I felt that there should have been dramatic music in the background.

"Really?" he asked, laughing.

"REALLY!" I yelled, my own laugh echoing off into the woods. Edward put me down and lent his forehead against mine. "Really, really, really! How many times do I have to tell you to make you believe me? Edward, I love you, I always have. Do you believe me now?"

He looked at my slyly. "One more time."

"I love you."

"One more time."

"Edward!"

He put me down and glued our hands together. We started walking together, laughing and talking. I didn't think that I had smiled so much in my life.

"Old dirt road, knee deep snow, watching the fire as we grow o-o-o-o-old." I sang quietly as we started walking through the really deep snow on the path.

Edward looked over at me and started laughing. I smacked his arm, flinching when I felt the pain shoot up my arm. I ignored it. "What are you laughing at?"

"How do you know that song?" he asked me.

I smirked at him. "The question is, Mr. Classical Music Man, how do _you_ know that song?"

He looked at me funny. "I do know music outside of classical."

I rolled my eyes at him and he grinned. "How do you know that song?"

_"(500) Days Of Summer_." I replied. He looked at me funny again. "You really need to get out more." I tugged on his hand. "Come with me."

Five minutes later, we were walking towards the local DVD store. We ran inside, laughing and covered in snow. I ran towards the Romance section and quickly sought out _(500) Days of Summer_.

"Bella!" He whined, sounding more like a teenager than he ever has.

"Okay, okay. Just let me pay for this." I said, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the counter. The cashier immediately recognized me.

"Bella, let me pay." Edward said, pulling out his wallet.

"No." I said, taking him by surprise. "I got this." I looked at the cashier sweetly, batting my eyelashes. "We'd like this movie, please."

The gangly cashier with the gross looking hair looked momentarily astounded, but quickly recovered and took the DVD from my hands.

"How much will that be?" I asked.

"Um, uh, you can take it for free if I, uh, could just have your autograph."

I smirked at an astonished Edward and took the piece of paper that the cashier was holding out to me. "Who should I make this out to?"

"It's for my little brother Ryan. Not me, my brother." He looked nervous and was sweating over his eyebrows.

I finished writing on the paper and gave it back to him, taking the movie with my other hand. As we were walking out of the door, I turned around and called back, "Thanks, Ryan!"

Tom leaned over Summer as Summer looked up at him. "Darling," he said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but there's a Chinese family in our bathroom."

I looked over to Edward to find him fully engrossed in the movie. Whilst we were watching the movie at Edward's house, the whole family had gathered round to watch the movie, even Rosalie. She claimed that she was only watching it for Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but to tell you the truth, I think we all were.

Throughout the whole movie, every time the word "shit" came up, Emmett immediately thought it upon himself to cover my ears. I had Rose whack him for me.

Edward turned and met my eyes with his own and moved me closer to his side, just to whisper into my ear.

"One more time."

**A/N-FAVOURITE LINE?**


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